"Where the hell am I?" I asked myself.
I realized that I was at the "Seattle's Best" cafe at Borders, a frequent stopping ground for me when I was a student at UCLA. As of two weeks ago, I was no longer a student at UCLA, which begged the question: what the hell am I doing here? Shouldn't I be at bar somewhere in Manhattan Beach, or watching TV, or doing anything except reading books at bookstore? Better yet, how the hell did I even get here? I don't even remember driving here!
I suddenly realized that I must be suffering from a debilitating illness known as GSWS or Graduate Student Withdrawal Syndrome. Symptoms include:
- Insomnia
- Frequent subconscious trips to Borders, Starbucks, or the Library
- Sudden cravings for coffee, soda and McDonald's
- Irritability followed by confusion followed by more irritability
- Excessive use of Facebook
- Going to a corner, curling up into a fetal position and crying
- More crying
- Needing to want to make senseless and drastic changes in your life
- A little more crying
I decided that I had to beat this disease. If I didn't, it would consume me... whole, and I'd be destined to a life akin to the man with the orange stapler in the movie "Office Space". But, how?
And then it dawned on me...
TO BE CONTINUED.
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